Father’s Day

Posted by Jenna Catley-Richardson in Babies and tagged with , , , , , , , ,

By Ben Catley-Richardson

When I revealed that my wife was pregnant I didn’t expect to be told, “Well done!” Of course I expected congratulations, but for becoming a father. Not for simply managing to successfully impregnate my wife.

My unborn son is now so unavoidably big (32 weeks and counting) that it’s like he’s here already, sharing our bath, our sofa and our bed.

But the evidence that we’re growing an actual person is still awe-inspiring, from the naive surprise I felt seeing him wake up and stretch out like a cat during his first scan to the wonder of being kicked in the side of the head from beyond the womb.

Two things instantly occurred to me when we discovered he was a boy. My desire to protect and defend him from other boys and, equally, my desire to introduce him to the magic of leg spin bowling.

When his name became obvious, almost as quickly, it made opening up to him even easier than opening up to his mother, and meant that this initial spark of connection has grown to the point where I already miss him.

I’m impatient to feel the weight of his little body, to take him out on my own and carry him around. To introduce him to friends, at work, or just to random passersby.

At the same time I have been more than a little scared of him. Selfishly, I want the love I feel for him to be returned in a way I can appreciate and understand. I want him to be proud of me. He will have the power to elevate me, but also to destroy me.

My biggest fear is that knowing this will encourage me to protect myself from him, and that by trying to avoid being vulnerable I’ll only succeed in putting distance between us. So that in the end he’ll never know how much I really love him.

It seems trivial to worry about how expensive babies are, or how little sleep I’ll get, or how they cry and cry and cry. The fact is I know I’ll have to stop myself waking him up just to play with him.

I can’t wait to see if he recognises my voice after all these heart-to-bump chats we’ve been having, or to start interpreting his facial expressions or his noises. I haven’t once worried about how he’ll turn out or whether we’ll be good parents. I know that all we need to do is love him and trust him.

Our lives are going to change completely but that’s why we wanted to have a baby in the first place. I’m looking forward to the hard work. I’m looking forward to our lives getting bigger, busier, noisier.

For me, having children is about having more life, not less. I know that there will always be room for the things that make me who I am. The challenge of being a father is deciding what I can live without, and what my son wouldn’t want me to live without.

Sebastien Blake Catley-Richardson is due on 24th July 2012.

Daddy-in-waiting

Posted by Jenna Catley-Richardson in Babies and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Written on BabyMoon 6th June 2012

My darling husband  underestimated how much my pregnancy would affect me, and as a consequence what he’d have to do to support me. He needs clear instructions, defining his jobs, giving him examples of ways he can help. He wants to help, he wants to be useful and to please me, he just doesn’t know how. So it’s worked well, for us as a pregnancy team, now he knows what he can do to make my life eeasier. He has been amazing – taking over the cooking and housework, upping the massages to almost daily, nagging me to eat and drink well, to rest. I’m so grateful.

After a rocky start he’s become attached to the baby and involved in the pregnancy. We’ve discussed my hopes for the birth, and haven’t stopped talking about our plans for parenthood. We’ve made lots of decisions together: to keep our baby close to our bodies, to be baby-led, to breastfeed and to use washable nappies. He’s made me smile every week by texting excitedly about the latest development he’s read in the email bulletin we both get about our baby’s progress in the womb. “Did you know he’s now got eyelashes!” “This week he opened his eyes!”

But for all the mental and verbal involvement in the pregnancy, my husband simply hadn’t realised that come the labour, the birth and the baby, he is required to do more than just respond appropriately to my prompts for action. He had been operating on the assumption that he just needed to be prepared for more requests for specific support: for cups of tea, for more Tena pads, for a vigorous back rub, to vacuum the lounge. It wasn’t until I laid it out explicitly that he understood I expect him to be as educated about what my body is going through as I will be by the time I am in labour. I want him to be able to offer his own opinions and to make suggestions. I want him to know what things mean, and to be in a position of confidence to challenge others (pushy midwives, consultants) on my behalf.

He knows me well enough to have realised that I will not have the patience or presence of mind to handle questions, to make decisions, solve problems or suggest solutions during or after the labour – but it didn’t occur to him to think this through. I’m a researcher, I’m a planner, a natural project manager. If there’s an itinerary that could possibly be written, I’m all over it. Ordinarily, I really enjoy being in control, but when I’m stressed, responsibility is the last thing I want. I don’t even want to be asked what drink I want. I dissolve into an indecisive, snappy wreck. Just get me a drink! He needs to take over. As competently as me.

http://www.lionking.org

I trust my husband and I know that he is more than capable of exceeding my expectations. He will be the most hands on supportive Dad there is once he has started to prepare. He, like me, is a last-minute crammer type. It suits us to pull things together at the eleventh hour. The thing is, with our baby, we don’t know when he’s going to be ready to make an appearance. We need to be ready. Now. We are not ready. I haven’t washed his clothes yet. His crib isn’t set up and we are missing a few key nursery items. My hospital bag isn’t packed. We are completing on a purchase of a house and planning a renovation. We are only going to get busier.

There are lots of books for Dads-to-be but they all strike as patronising or flippant. These are books for self-conscious, nervous Dads, not Dads who genuinely want to be taken seriously as part of the birthing and parenting team. I’ve bought myself two books that I feel best resound with my own firm views on parenting style. The books are fairly academic in style, dare I say a bit text-book like. Hefty. These are the books my husband should read. But that’s a lot of reading for any Dad to do when he doesn’t really see how the birth or parts of parenting such as breastfeeding can possibly be anything much to do with him.http://mousetalestravel.com

Can I really prepare him for something I can barely imagine myself? Having read my books, washed the baby clothes, and packed my hospital bag will I feel prepared? Will I feel ready? I suspect I’ll have that holiday packing feeling that I’ve forgotten something important. Is there any amount of house decluttering and cleaning, or any number of lists of meal ideas and routine housework reminders that can make me feel as prepared as I want to feel for our baby’s birth? Knowing us, it’ll be a mad dash, things will happen out the blue, and in the moment certain things will naturally lose the importance I imbue them with now. It’s not the stuff you prepare for your baby that really matters afterall, it’s the home you welcome him into.

I’m writing this on our Babymoon. A sort of reverse honeymoon. A romantic break together before our lives change forever (in the best kind of way). We always end up talking about big things when we are on holiday together. This time and space has allowed us both to realise that we were not on the same page as regards dear husband’s involvement in the birth and early weeks. These realisations always make me fearful. What else have I taken for granted? Our chats have prompted this Daddy-in-waiting to write to our baby. I know he’s impatient for our bundle to arrive. He enjoyed cradling and carrying around a melon, and then a large bottle of water, a little too much this week. But trust in his fathering instincts can only reassure me to a point. Will he read my two parenting books? Will he take them seriously? Will he read them all the way through? Will they mean anything? Should I encourage him to watch more labour and birth scenes on TV? Does he need to speak to more Dads or Dads-in-waiting? How else can I prepare him?

Ultimately, he’s never going to be the take-charge, confident protector I want him to be if he doesn’t get used to feeling confident and in charge now. So perhaps the key is to listen when he asks me to relinquish control of the cooking. Maybe it’s to remind him more often that he can do things himself. Perhaps it is simply to help him realise he is already amazing.

http://thefilmgeekfiles.wordpress.com

A birth plan for and with my son

Posted by Jenna Catley-Richardson in Babies and tagged with , , , , , ,

http://www.dailylifesinspiration.com/inspirational-quotes-for-mothersI just want to let you know, we’re in it together. One of my biggest hopes is that I don’t scream or make noises that make you think it’s an awful time, or that I don’t want you. I will be aware that you are going through the things I’m going through in your own way, from your own perspective. That you will be going through an experience as intense as mine. You won’t be in pain but we will be working together to reach the same goal. I will encourage you. I know it’s as much down to you to come out as me to help you come out. It will all be natural for you, you won’t realise the marvellous things you are doing, but your body and my body will just know instinctively what to do, and do it, if we let them. That is my aim, to let our bodies do their jobs.

I watch so many labours where there seems to be no communication between the mommies and the babies. I want to be talking to you all the time, because it’s our moment, it’s about us coming together at last, to meet each other. I’ve told your Daddy I want him to talk to you too, to encourage you to come out. To let you know about what is waiting for you. Lots of little firsts.

I hope that focusing on you, the reality of what labour is for, will lessen my focus on the pain, which is just temporary. You are the best prize anyone could imagine. If anything can get me through an ordeal, the promise of you, my baby, will. I’m nervous about the day. I’m also really excited for it. It will be so anticipated, so waited for. Like Christmas, a Birthday. These are days I so look forward to, and when they arrive, they seem unreal, until you start living them.

I don’t want any intervention in our birth, so we have to be strong. I have to stay calm and positive. Daddy is going to make me laugh as well as keeping me as relaxed as possible. Laughing is good for easing pain and relaxing your muscles. I need to pretend I’m Mr Soft, a marshmallow person, the Pillsbury dough boy. They teach you relaxation techniques in yoga, some are escapist, and I don’t want to zone out. I want to be very focused on what’s happening. I won’t want to be on a beach instead. I wouldn’t miss this for the world. How many times in my life will I experience something so intense, so rewarding, so miraculous. Maybe four times at most if I get my hoped for gaggle of four of you.

I’m going to be very emotional when I see you. I’m going to be ecstatic to see you and feel you. Whatever tribulations lie ahead of us, that moment will be a timeless memory of utter togetherness. The bonds we make that day, you with me, you with Daddy, Daddy and I, they will see us through life’s ups and downs. We will start as a team; a loving, open, intimate family. The way we mean to go on. We will love you unconditionally but what’s so exciting is to look forward to becoming the greatest of friends.

The things we do for love

Posted by Jenna Catley-Richardson in Weddings and tagged with , ,

One of my main story lines for playing with my Barbies as a little girl (Ok until the age of 12) was courtship. I didn’t actually have a Wedding Day Barbie but the plot was always leading to marriage. Ken would woo Barbie, (of course we had better names for the characters involved but they escape me) Barbie would resist his advances, prolong the courtship, consider her options, go shopping, focus on her career. The first kiss was always the end of play. After that crescendo, happily ever after seemed boring. It’s all in the anticipation.

But it would seem that lots of kids and not only kids do marry off their stuffed toys. And pets.

Exhibit 1.

Amorous groom v puppy dog eyes <- watch this video

This Groom is so full on that he doesn’t even notice they are getting married on a toilet, or that the Bride is actually checking out one of the Ushers just out of shot stage right throughout. What a faker.

Exhibit 2.

Royal wedding with a twist

http://www.herewearetogether.com/2011/11/22/christmas-toy-round-up/

Apparently this is Wills and Kate in Sylvanian Families form.

Way to stereotype with the black priest!

 

 

 

Exhibit 3.

Mario v Smurfette <-watch this video

This Bride and Groom have opted for an Entrance song mash up, to reflect their individual personalities. Unfortunately their goofy guests don’t even try to stop the gatecrasher zombie ex from ruining the ceremony. Tisk.

~

And now for something more serious.

http://deathbypoprocks.com/2011/09/02/apparently-puppies-have-been-getting-married-to-each-other-since-1956/http://thelatest.i.ph/blogs/thelatest/?p=28

You just know that ‘grown ups’ were behind these scenes of matrimonial bliss.

~

And finally, one of the noughties’ most touching love stories… <- watch this video

Baby Styling

Posted by Jenna Catley-Richardson in Babies and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I started writing a baby goody wish list last November before I was pregnant, so it’s no surprise I started buying must-have baby clothes from Ebay within weeks of finding out I was expecting our baby boy.

I don’t see our baby as a fashion accessory and I don’t want to live through him by making him wear stuff that makes me look good! I do want my tastes and personality to be reflected in the choices I make for him. I want it to be pretty obvious he is our baby. I want him to enjoy wearing the things I have chosen for him. I want to enjoy dressing him in things that make us (baby and me) both smile.

Monkey Baby

One of my first Ebay purchases – Paul Frank hat and booties. You know how most little girls love teddy bears, baby dolls, or are really into horses? Well in my family, it’s monkeys. My Dad named me monkey chops as a baby. Monkey themed clothes seemed the obvious choice!

Most monkey designs involve calling your little one a cheeky monkey. So I was pleased to find this George outfit complete with monkey faces on the feet.

Both from Ebay. Strong mouse rattle from Ikea.

Circus Baby

The other main ‘theme’ I’ve gone for when shopping for our baby is ‘circus’. It started with some circus finger puppets and crib canopy I just had to have. Then we went to Baby Gap. Bunting reminds me of our wedding, and I have bunting up around the house and garden, and even have my own wedding fayre bunting. The bunting outfit and hat are organic cotton which is deliciously super soft and the quilted trousers and jacket are reversible. <3

All Baby Gap: hat from Ebay, other items in the sale in store!

Circus Chic Baby

Completing the circus look are these two gorgeous grows from Mamas & Papas. One of my full price splurges! Not only are they funky circus but they are chic français too! Ben and I are both a bit francophile and feel much more comfortable dressing ourselves and our brood in either nostalgically English or French designs rather than paying attention to high street fashion. The names we have chosen for our babies are all a little bit French, and while I’m not crazy about the blue striped ‘prison’ baby outfits you can get, I will be buying childsized berets! :)

OCD Baby

Some great value multipacks from Mamas & Papas, chosen for the unisex colours and general adorableness. Now our baby need not worry about which outfit to wear each day – there’s one for each day of the week! Our baby is due in July, so these sleeveless, legless body suits will be perfect for keeping fresh and cool.

I have noticed a slight obsession with eggy weggs in this range. Will our baby take after his Daddy and crave boily egg and soldiers every weekend? Anyone else think the gingerbread man’s spoon looks like a tennis racket?

I’m not sure about the fold over hand muffs: he’ll have to have really short arms!

First Day Baby

At the moment, this is the outfit we are thinking our son will wear on his very first day. The little bodysuit says Welcome to the World. I want his first hours with us to be as easy and reassuring for him as possible. I think white will sooth us and let us get to know best him by focusing on his little face. He’ll have these non slip socks in case his feet get cold, his first present from his Nanna, my Mom.

I don’t want to over dress him for the first few months, when he’s a real babe in arms. I like the idea of wrapping him in various blankets for warmth rather than cardies and jackets.

This little fella is Barnaby Button, or Baby Barnaby as we call him. He’s a teddy that holds a comforter blanket for the baby. We fell in love with his sad little face and had to rescue him from his previous home where he was sat on a shelf getting dusty. We are sure he will make our baby very happy.

Grow and bear by Mamas & Papas, from Ebay. Socks from Gap.

Snuggle time Baby

These are all outfits that are comfy, cushdy and cosy. Just looking at them sends me half to sleep. I’m thinking of using them as the baby alternative to ‘best’ pjs. I can just imagine dressing him in these after a nice relaxing bath before we read some bedtime stories. Then again, they are smart enough for visitors, and if everyday can’t be a pj day when you’re a baby when can it?

I love that all these babygrows have built-in feet and cute little collars! I’m a fan of rounded baby collars, but expect they seem a bit old-fashioned, and a bit too feminine for a baby boy, to others!

All Mamas & Papas from Ebay. Yellow babygrow and fluffy booties John Lewis.

Sleeping Baby

These are grow bags from the Gro Company which are baby sleeping pouches with arm holes, not bags of soil for growing tomatoes. :) I’ve bought one light and one heavier tog to last the first six months. I love this idea and just hope our baby does too! Not only do these bags save me buying bedding for the moses baskets, they save me from worrying the baby will get tangled up in his blankets!

You can see that I’m an awful mother and haven’t ironed any of these things. I’m undecided. I don’t iron our bedding. It could be worse, I could be buying one use disposable baby grows.

Ebay of course :)

Novelty Baby

Animal ears on babies are all the rage but so often they don’t belong to any particular animal costume. If our baby is to wear ears on his head, he’ll sport a tigger face and body too! :) This outfit has proven especially helpful for Ben trying out his baby holding skills, as it gives us an idea of head position. It’s super cute with that tummy area, and we can’t wait to put him in this when it’s time to go in his tigger door frame bouncer.

Bouncer and tigger suit from Ebay, by Disney.

Man Baby

The day we found out at the scan that baby Catley-Richardson is in fact baby boy Catley-Richardson, we set out determined to buy something exclusively boy, which meant blue. I had been buying unisex clothes because I would really like them to be worn by all our babies. I also don’t see any reason to dress boys in blue and girls in pink. No matter their age. Blue is my favourite colour and I’m all woman! I want to bring out our baby boy’s softer side, so I really don’t want his clothes to be plastered with trucks, cars, robots, and planes, builders or surfboards. With his genes, he is much more likely to be a poet or an actor than a mechanic. Hence the beret.

When it comes to bringing our son (or sons as it may be) up, we have pretty strong feelings about teaching him about being a man, not a lad. We want to bring him up to be a gent. So after struggling to find any baby boys clothes that we liked, this little number from Gap seemed to fit the bill. It’s going to be the outfit he wears when Ben very proudly takes him out on his own for the first time.

Big Baby

And finally, without getting too ahead of ourselves, there are just times when you see something so perfect in a shop that you have to get it. Even if it means the purchase will sit in a drawer for 18 months until it fits your baby! This long-sleeved T-shirt (Gap) is for our would-be 12 month old. This is exactly the kind of message we want him to be reminded of every day.

I’m not going to hunt down a whole range of motivational slogan clothing for our kids, (although now I’m curious!) but I do believe our children will benefit from having surroundings and clothes that reinforce the things we teach them. I’m sure we as parents will benefit from being reminded of the things we set out to teach them too.

~

Stay tuned for similarly opinionated posts about the nursery, the toys, the nappies!

Picture this

Posted by Jenna Catley-Richardson in Weddings and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , ,

You’ve chosen your professional photographer and come up with a list of must-have shots and family group poses. You’ve done your homework and know exactly the style of photography you want for your wedding and have given the photographer a long brief to that effect. You’ve even bought your wedding photo albums. You may have decided to hand out disposable cameras for your guests to take snaps throughout the reception. You’ve bought a nice guest book for friends and family to sign and a special pen to go with it.

STOP!

What about this?

Wedding Photo Booth

What is it? A photo booth that produces strips of ‘passport’ photos, unlimited and free of charge to your guests! It’s set up and managed for you. Most companies will provide props.

Equipment needed: Phone or internet and credit card to book with. Try to get a recommendation for the company you use.

Pro:

  • You can leave the professionals to it, totally hassle free
  • Tremendous fun for your guests, particularly i) squeezing multiple people into the booth ii) time pressure between snaps iii) taking loads of snaps and getting creative with poses
  • The booths produce a copy for the guest AND a copy for the guest book
  • Booth prints look cool on your fridge as well as in albums
  • Quality print outs
  • Great if you and your guests like dressing up/getting creative

Con:

  • Close up shots only
  • Limited number of people per shot
  • Crazy rush to change wig/specs/mask in between shots can result in lots of blurred ‘fail’ shots
  • You’re reliant on the props provided – not tailored to your theme
  • More expensive than the DIY option, extra expense if you choose to have a professional photographer aswell

DIY Wedding Photo Booth

What is it? The homespun version of the above.

Equipment needed: A backdrop of sorts, picture frames in various sizes, cut out boards, props, chalk and blackboards, a camera, tables, chairs, instructions for guests

Pro:

  • Complete control – you can tailor it to your theme and your guests, you can personalise it
  • A relatively cheap alternative
  • You can set up your booth outside!
  • Flexibility – You could use a digital camera, a polaroid camera, or even disposable cameras
  • Polaroids look cool in frames or pinned to the fridge or kitchen noticeboard as well as in albums
  • You can fit as many people as you like in the shots
  • If you supply a chalk board for guest messages you won’t need a guest book at all

Con:

  • Someone has to take the photo (This could be a paid pro but it defeats the money-saving aspect. This could be whoever is free, but they might take bad photographs!)
  • Stress over/time spent buying props
  • Stress over/time spent setting the booth up
  • Stress over the camera going missing/breaking
  • While digital snaps can produce multiple printouts, you only get one polaroid so you’d have to stop your guests from taking them home!
  • If you don’t use a polaroid, you might wish you had spent a bit extra and got more professional looking pics
http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2010/05/real-wedding-a-crazy-colorful.html

by Jenny Feldman http://www.glamour.com

Caricature Artist

What is it? An artist who will mill around your guests informally and draw funny pictures of them. The drawings can form a photo/guest book of sorts.

Equipment needed: Phone or internet and credit card to book with. Try to get a recommendation for the artist you use.

Pro:

  • Captures your guests personalities as well as their looks
  • A very different type of guest book to flick through in years to come
  • Could be right up your street and your guests could love it
  • Drawings can feel more personal than photographs
  • Doubles up as entertainment for your guests
  • Drawings can be framed and displayed on walls
  • No risk of expensive equipment breaking or going missing

Con:

  • Drawings take longer than photographs
  • The artist probably won’t get round all your guests
  • Single portraits only, no group shots
  • Only produces one copy and your guests are likely to want to take drawings home with them
  • Caricatures are not very flattering
  • It’s not everyone’s cup of tea

Picture Frame Decorating

What is it? An activity for younger guests. They can make their own frames for you to use with photos of them from your day.

Equipment needed: Cardboard, scissors, glue, glitter, other craft supplies, on a table covered with an oil cloth (for spills)

Pro:

  • Keeps younger guests entertained
  • A lovely gift from them to you
  • Saves you having to buy lots of frames
  • Cheap and easy
  • Personal

Con:

  • Could be messy
  • You might want someone to ‘supervise’

English country garden wedding: stationary

Posted by Jenna Catley-Richardson in Weddings and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , ,

One of my favourite and a very popular wedding theme: English country garden party/summer fete. This theme usually has an air of nostalgia. Key features include bunting, Pimms, informality, afternoon tea, hay bales, homemade favours.

I *tried* to make my own wedding invitations, but they looked rubbish. I ended up using a design from Tickled Pink and asked them to change various colours and font sizes to suit our wedding (and my perfectionism) perfectly. This was a bit of an extravagance, but they are gorgeous and I’m still so pleased with them. I really wanted to set the scene with our stationary, and I think we succeeded in letting our guests know the type of wedding we were planning and what they could expect. Here they are!

A year has passed so I’m wondering which stationary would I pick out if I was planning my wedding now?

I still love Tickled Pink. Their designs are crisp and impressive enough for special wedding stationary yet so down to earth and unpretentious. That’s a pretty hard balance to strike, but they get it right. Check out these super pretty designs which would all be great for an English garden theme:

Vintage Hearts

English Rose

Lace and Roses

Winter Wreath

Heart Invites has a new stationary collection called County Fayre. It combines lovely pink and green bunting with a fine green polka dot background. I’m not overly keen on the font which is a bit too modern in a wild wild west way for my tastes.

Country Fayre Range

I’ve also found this beautiful hand-painted stationary available from Pip Pip Designs. Their range is small but gorgeously and quintessentially English. This is my favourite design of theirs:

Bunting Wedding Stationary

Victoria Whincup offers these delightful personalised invitations, hand-drawn and hand-painted through her Etsy shop. I particularly like this design, which feels organic, floaty and gives a great sense of relaxed informality. Do browse her adorable designs. Her style reminds me of Rob Ryan’s papercutwork which I love.

Pink Flowers

Giftwrappedandgorgeous bring you Kate Lewis Design Wedding Stationary. Her cake and bunting design is hand-finished with sequins and crystals but remains rustic with a bubbly, fun feel.

Applique Cake

For a more homemade look how about this from Tailored Wedding Plans.

Bunting Style Wedding Invitation

Vintage Brown Card Floral

Tailored Wedding Plans do great table plans too. This vintage glam look would have been great for my think pink wedding :)

Crystals, Pearls and Vintage Style Lace

Another fabulously pink invitation is available from Beautiful Day through Not On The High Street.com

This design might be my most favourite of all! It combines bunting, cake, roses, and a bit of glam. Love it! This just shows how researching outside of ‘wedding’ suppliers and websites can yield the very best results!

Shabby Chic Bunting Party Invitation

I search for things like this one of two ways. Type your search terms into Google Images and click into the websites belonging to the images you like best. Chances are if a company does a bunting design, they will do other designs that fit with the English country garden theme too. Or search for local companies who specialise in bespoke or hand-painted stationary. You can link through to great Stationers through the websites of other wedding suppliers who share the same type of ethos or niche focus.

Happy hunting stationary lovers!

Baby talk and talking to kids

Posted by Jenna Catley-Richardson in Babies and tagged with , , , , , , ,

At 23 weeks pregnant (4 months to go) my baby can now hear. Mostly our baby boy will be listening to my heartbeat, it will probably lull him to sleep. He’ll also be starting to listen to our conversations, even if they are just muffled noises – daddy’s low bassy pitch and mummy’s higher softer voice. From the start, I have been really keen for Ben to talk to the baby so that he feels as connected as I do to him. Ben really opens up to the baby and I love listening to him tell our son about me as well as his own day, his thoughts, and feelings.

http://www.lolroflmao.com/2011/10/20/dont-stop-believing-baby-with-headphones/

I’m the quiet one, the listener in the relationship. I don’t like to talk about myself or my problems. I’m a writer, and have written extensively to my baby since the day we found out we were pregnant. I’ve covered everything in my letters to Baby, from choosing his name, shopping for his clothes, to food cravings I’m having and songs I’ve found for him that make me cry. So I haven’t spoken to the baby much at all. I am trying to say the odd thing now his hearing is developing. Mostly I just say ‘Hi’ I ask him if he’s OK, if he’s having a little sleep. I describe things to him I wish he could see, if I’m out on a nice walk. I really struggle to know what else to say to him at the moment.

Talking to children has never come naturally to me. Smiling, yes, that’s what I find myself doing. I find a lot of children too shy to initiate conversations when they meet you for the first time. Others do try to tell me things and I can’t understand what they’re saying! I find myself asking children questions to encourage conversation but all too often they turn out to be closed questions. I’m too eager to help them to answer and should probably become more comfortable with longer pauses while they gather their thoughts.

It’s much easier to converse with a child you know, or share something with. It’s the same with other adults! Common ground makes for easier conversation. So when you feel you have nothing in common with a child or a baby, where do you start? You try to discuss things you think they are interested in, but what if you get that wrong. They soon let you know if they find your chosen topic boring!

http://www.motifake.com/tags/staring

It makes me wonder how much conversation with my own kids will be meaningful. Take the proportion of conversations you overhear on the train and in bars and restaurants. Most of them are about nothing, mundane non-talk, observations, loose plans.

I know at the moment all my baby needs is to hear the sound my voice makes. I know that I will be able to teach him to speak by repeating words and pointing out what things are called, letting him watch my mouth as I speak. Yet I still picture us sat opposite each other just looking at each other. Not saying anything. I’ll just be smiling and saying dumb things like ‘Hi’.

It would be like a really bad first date.

Well, thank goodness actions speak louder than words. I can’t help but be active with kids, so I know I’ll be an active mom. If I get bored, I’ll assume the baby is bored. So we’ll constantly be going somewhere or doing something just to get as much sensory input as possible. And when all else fails, me and my baby boy will snuggle up for a bit of Disney movie education. I’ll teach him to sing all the songs.

http://ginandbiscuits.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/dumbo-1941-no-4.html

Mothers Day

Posted by Jenna Catley-Richardson in Babies and tagged with , , , , ,

I never got Mothers Day, until now. Now I’m mothering my own unborn baby. So I want to dedicate this post to my Mom and explore what she means to me.

Me at 2 years old, with Mom

People have always said I look just like my Mom. It’s true. I don’t see her when I look in the mirror, but I love all the physical similarities only her and I notice. The up close and personal things like where our freckles appear, the lines on our necks, our rogue hairs. I take after my Mom in a lot of ways. Inherited or learnt, I’m sure she can see her best and worst in me at times.

This post isn’t about how much I love my Mom, but how much I admire her. I admire her strength. Mom has never been a burden to anybody and never will allow herself to be. She doesn’t show her fragile side very often at all, she always holds herself together, and gets on with things.

She doesn’t give up. She always has a go at something rather than asking for help or just leaving something undone. She believes in herself and others, she believes that things can be done, that things are possible. She taught me to be positive and to be independent. She taught me the best kind of strength. Strength for others. And strength of belief.

On the garden swing with Mom

Mom believes in people and in goodness. She has reasons to be bitter, and to be selfish, but instead she gets better each passing year. She doesn’t hold the past against the future. Just because something didn’t work out once, doesn’t mean she can’t believe that it won’t work out the second time.

We never shared the same political passions but she gave me the strength to fight for a cause. My Mom is a good citizen. She’s the one who will write letters, make phone calls, stand up for people and for what is right. She gives her time and energy to others in need. It doesn’t matter if something doesn’t affect her directly, it only matters that she can do something about a situation that negatively affects someone or something.

I appreciate history and tradition and because of my Mom, photos and objects from our past have been saved, displayed, brought into our current lives to remind us of where we have come from. She’s so sentimental, but in the best way. She puts in so much thought and love into gifts and gestures that transform presents into treasures.

Me at 2 months old with Mom

Like me, Mom has super high standards. She expects a lot from herself. Her house is always beautifully kept. The dinner table is always laid with such care. The welcomes and send offs she gives make you feel so special.

My Mom doesn’t ask for much for herself. She likes a bit of culture. She’s a classy lady. A bit of sunshine, a walk somewhere pretty, good food and wine, good company. That’s all she wants. She is in no way greedy. She has given me a fantastic attitude towards money. It’s for living. If you don’t need it, share it with others. Benefit others as well as yourself.

Like her own Mom, my Mom loves to laugh. Smiling suits her. She’s so beautiful when she is happy. It makes me want to do everything in my power to make her happy. She loves a good party and has a wicked sense of humour and sense of fun. Sometimes too much for my sensitive and serious side! Mom is fun and will always be young at heart.

Mommy and me

The usual Mothers Day cards don’t do my relationship with my Mom justice. I don’t want to thank her for the things she does for me. For like her, I’m very independent. No, I want to thank her for being in my life, because she is a joy to know. I love the woman that is my Mom.

I admire my Mom. To me, she’s a wonderful role model of how to be a woman, a friend, and a mother.

Wedding cakes with a twist

Posted by Jenna Catley-Richardson in Weddings and tagged with , , , , , , , , ,

Wedding Cake Traditions and Traditional Wedding Cake

Wedding cakes make fantastic centre pieces, and are chosen as much for their visual appeal as for how they taste! The classic multi-tiered affair became popular I believe in Victorian society after a cake designer took inspiration from St Bride’s Church in London. I wonder if the steeple itself took inspiration from the cute older tradition of piling cakes as high as possible to challenge the Bride and Groom to kiss over the top of the cakes? What a fun game! As with most wedding traditions, the couple could expect prosperity and fertility should they succeed in kissing over the cake tower! Nowadays the ritual associated with the special cake is the joint cutting of it and feeding it to one another by the newlyweds. These important first joint acts and exchanges as husband and wife symbolise the bodily and spiritual nourishment the couple have pledged to provide each other throughout their marriage.

http://www.1weddingsource.com/history.php

The luck imbued in the cake was treasured by couple and guests alike after the Wedding too. Ladies! If you sleep with a slice under your pillow you will dream of your future husband! While the convention of saving the top-tier of cake for the Christening of your first-born child has recently given way to saving the top-tier for your first Anniversary. But with fewer people opting for fruit cake and fewer cakes having tiers, the saving of cake to be eaten at the next big event looks set to become a thing of the past.

One delightful cake tradition that has sadly fallen out of fashion is to bake different charms into the cake, (“cake pulls”) so that when ribbons are pulled, your Bridesmaids receive different blessings depending on the charm revealed. A Heart: for love. A Clover: for luck. An Engagement Ring: you’ll be the next to wed.  An Anchor: adventure will come your way. A Flower: love is going to bloom. A Horseshoe: you are lucky in life. If you like the idea of the nostalgic bridal luck charms I discuss here, why not make this sweet tradition part of your wedding too?

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?um=1&hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&biw=1280&bih=681&tbm=isch&tbnid=TH4MraMreDuawM:&imgrefurl=http://jewelrybyrhonda.com/webpages/cakecharmpics2.html&docid=_1fZyL9LYPf4IM&imgurl=http://jewelrybyrhonda.com/images/cakecharms/cakepullneworleans.jpg&w=541&h=343&ei=ayViT6__E8ab8QPl3sXmBw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=965&vpy=130&dur=515&hovh=149&hovw=201&tx=155&ty=90&sig=104008391997752555404&page=4&tbnh=149&tbnw=201&start=60&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:60

Reinventing the Wedding ‘Cake‘

I like to deconstruct every element of the wedding so that it can be reimagined in a fresh, fun way which suits the couple and the wedding they dare to dream of. A wedding cake generally serves the following purposes:

  • It is a stunning centrepiece to the reception room
  • It is a tasty treat for guests to look forward to
  • It has to feed all your guests
  • If you want to cut it, it needs to be cuttable
  • It has to not spoil or melt as it stands on show for at least a few hours

Given this ‘cake’ criteria it is apparent that the cake need not be made of make at all. There are many reasons why you may not want a cake cake. If you are servings lots of cakes as part of an afternoon tea spread; if you dislike cake; if you want your food budget to go further; if you particularly like the look of towers or croquembouche; or particularly like another type of sweet treat.

Cheese

Myself and my husband went for a cheese tower draped with tomatoes, figs, and grapes instead of a cake cake. A) I love cheese, and it just seemed so fitting B) we didn’t have a traditional wedding breakfast but afternoon tea, so we needed savoury not more sweet! C) the cheese tower still had the shape of a wedding cake, and the three tiers could still be cut by us.

Pie

Pork, chicken, vegetable… theoretically you could make a tower of pies, with any firm filling. A fruit pie would soon turn to messy mush, but savoury pies provide an easy to slice, tasty and substantial alternative. A practical option with the oooooooo! factor.

Chocolatehttp://www.choccywoccydoodah.com/product/0363/Three+Tier+Vortex

If money had been no object? Choccywoccydoodah, and not just because they have a funky name. These chocolate sensations do look quite tricky to cut and are ‘only’ chocolate coated. But what a coating. These cake cakes are all about the chocolate and the sculpture created. If you were going to choose a cake cake, this company offers the most delectable choice of sponges as opposed to the usual vanilla, chocolate, lemon or carrot.

Don’t Tell The Bride does have its moments. A creative Groom designed his own chocolate box wedding cake which instead of a cake and fruit filled chocolate box tower cake you can order from Patisserie Valerie or Druckers (YUM!) he went further and revealed to his Bride a chocolate made chocolate box with individual chocolates inside it! Marvellous! I wonder if Thorntons do these.

Towers

Pile fudge, l, or profiteroles high to make a wedding cake shaped tower. There are no tiers and it might be impossible to slice but who cares when you can dive in and start scoffing these morish morsels!? Cupcake towers have become uber popular lately. It’s cake already individually portioned so saves all that cutting and holding the crumbley slice over a napkin while you eat it, but it’s still cake. Bitesized confectionary or patisserie somehow seems more decadent. I also love that while the individual pieces of yum are easily plucked one by one, they can be laced together with streamers of chocolate, so that the ‘cake’ is one.

Twistshttp://www.marthastewartweddings.com/226890/gateaux-de-mariage-croquembouche

I think what makes tiered cakes so pretty is the diagonal dressing with flowers or other decoration, so that the tower takes on a twisted effect appearance. Towers can easily be given a twist by stacking slightly asymmetrically. My advice with every aspect of your wedding is to think about what suits YOUR wedding best. So if you are having an early wedding and want to serve brunch, how about a sweet breakfast pastry tower – almond and chocolate croissants, Danish pastries, cinnamon swirls. For an evening do how about an after dinner coffee and mint theme or cocktail theme? For weddings in the tropics, baked Alaska; and for winter weddings serve your cake hot, flambe and carve the sponge and serve with custard?

For a metaphorical twist, there are cakes with a super surprise inside. Yes this could be a full-blown person, but think along the lines of the bridal good luck charms, and perhaps you could hide sweets, chocolate money, lottery tickets, easter eggs, kinder eggs! inside a regular looking sponge cake.

Fountains

If you don’t care about the cake being sliceable, but want maximum tower centrepiece effect, why not consider (guilty pleasures of mine) chocolate and/or champagne fountains? I adore the concept of these edible fountains. They really encapsulate the spirit of sharing and diving in I associate with the wedding cake. An added bonus is that unlike the other options, as they are devoured, they do not lose their shape or illusion of plenty. Who wants to choose between chocolate and champagne? If I could plan my wedding over again, I’d have one of each.

~

Our cake :)

Cutting our mini cheese tower

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ben getting a mouthful

A cracking cracker